Midori, Shinsetsu Present Messin With Soul Society
by Kitty-taichou-sama
Summary: Midori-taichou of the shunko corps and her fukutaichou Shinsetsu tell about various soul society charades and pranks they pull on Captain Gramps, Captain Booze, Captain Reaper, Captain Clown-face, and various other soul society counterparts.
1. Chapter 1

Midori and Shinsetsu Present Messing with Soul Society

_Midori: All events are told in real time. This week, on 27-_

_Shinsetsu: one, this isn't 24, and two, why did you say 27?_

_Dori: that's how many hours in a day there are, right?_

_Shin-en: no. an apology to all of you intelligent people out there, Midori is a dumbass. _

_Dori: am not. Anyways I am your superior so apologize to me. _

_Shin-en: sorry midori-taichou. _

_Dori: I forgive you dear fukutaichou. _

_Shin-en: well, let's just get on to the show. _

________________________________________________________________

"Hey, taichou, what're we gonna do today?" pondered Shinsetsu out loud. "I don't know… I have all this paperwork I gotta do…" was Midori's reply. "So you're gonna do paperwork all day?" shinsetsu was taken aback, as usually her taichou's goal in life was to avoid work at all. "Naw. There's a simpler way to do paperwork." _Of course_, Shinsetsu thought. "And how is that?" she said, doubting her captain's powers. "Why, we kidnap Byakuya and Renji and force them to do the paperwork at zampakuto point."

Byakuya knew something was up. He didn't know what, but he could sense it. "Renji, do you feel alright today?" byakuya asked his fukutaichou. Surprised, renji dropped his chili-dog into his lap. Usually his captain ignored his presence or criticized his background. "No… I think you're losing it or something." Renji should have known better, but unfortunately he was a moron. Byakuya reached for senbonzakura. "scat-" he began. "Follow me. Your lives depend on it. You too, chili crotch." a voice came from behind them. A figure dressed ridiculously similar to what the Japanese called a ninja appeared. Then another more practically dressed one in a simple set of black sweats and ski mask appeared.

He woke up lying next to his still unconscious fukutaichou. _Where the hell am I?_ He wondered. Then he recognized her office. He was in the office of the head of the shunko corps. _Good,_ he thought. _Midori and Shinsetsu saved me from those two crazy women._ The two crazy women returned to the room.

"I am not a crazy woman and I brought you here to do my paperwork! Now get started!" Midori had a good future in fortune telling. Byakuya and Renji spent 3 hours working on paperwork while Midori and Shinsetsu practiced the ancient Japanese art of karaoke in the next room.

________________________________________________________________

_(((((Authors Note))))) You may have noticed in my introduction that I shortened Shinsetsu's name to Shin-en. Shinsetsu means relaxed or peaceful, but Shin-en means buddy. Some of you may recognize me from my other story, Bleach in the Morning from my role as host Kitty-sama. Contrary to popular belief, I don't have writer's block and am not ending bleach in the morning, quite the opposite, my mind is so ripe with ideas for new stories I will be posting like crazy after the completed repairs to my damned computer. Love from Soul Society… Kitty-sama!!_


	2. ichigo kicks some noob ass!

Midori and Shinsetsu Present Messing With Soul Society

_Midori: This week, on Midori's Anatomy… dunnn dunnn dunnnnnnnnnnn.  
Shinsetsu: What show are we intro-ing after today. Sigh.  
Dori: Grey's Anatomy!!!!!!!  
Shin-en: does the stupidity ever end?  
Dori: if you want to stop being stupid, then go to school.  
Shin-en: __**sigh **__let's just get on with today's show.  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
"Why me?" wondered shinsetsu out loud as her captain ranted on about god knows what."Why you what?" was her captain's reply. "they said, 'you're special! You're stronger than everyone else! Go join the shun-ko corps! You'll make fukutaichou in an instant!! Well I made fukutaichou and it turns out it's not all it's cracked up to be." By the time she was done her captain had dozed off. "Mission accomplished." Said shinsetsu, just a little too loud. "What mission? I didn't assign you a mission? Did i?" her captain yelled at the top of her lungs. "why are you yelling?" asked shinsetsu. "it helps me remember things!" yelled midori, "I like salmon!" "No death god can help me now" sighed shinsetsu.

Meanwhile, in the shun-ko corps barracks, a four foot tall 12 year old girl was meditating atop all of the mattresses. "Hey!" a gruff voice yelled. It's owner must be a man. "get your wimpy little ass off of the mattresses." Did I mention they were stacked up in the middle of the room. The man was tired of waiting for the stupid child to get her sorry self off of _his_ mattresses. He would move her himself, he decided.  
"Arright, have it your way!" he shouted, swinging his zampakuto at her. It missed. How could he have missed her? She didn't even move! He glanced down at his sword. Wait… where was the blade? He noticed the girl a little more. She had a zampakuto of her own strapped to her thigh, but that wasn't t he shock. In her lap lay the severed blade of his zampakuto. "how…?" he began. "you don't even know your zampakuto's name. you must not even be from the shun-ko corps, as anyone form around here knows damn well not to mess with me." "oh yeah? Ya wanna bet, yeh little bitch?" "I guess there's no alternative than for me to dispose of a disrespectful pig such as yourself. Ban-kai."

Shinsetsu looked out the window just in timeto see the entire left side of the shun-ko's portion of seiretei (which was well over half) fall to the ground. "Uh… Midori, don't ya think you should go do something?" "Nah, Ichigo's just teaching some shinigami who happened to wander in here a lesson." Midori explained as if it were common knowledge. "how do you know this?" inquired shinsetsu. "fine, ya wanna go see what's up,then go." And at those words, shinsetsu was off.

"I might as well let ya know who killed ya, ya selfish commoner. Remember this name for the last few seconds you're alive. Shihouin Ichigo." She raised her sword one last time to kill the insolent fool who dared to mess with her. "IIIIICCCCCCHHHHIIIIIIGGGGOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! What're ya doing?!?" shinsetsu yelled. "why are ya yelling, shinsetsu?" asked ichigo in a calm voice. "IT HELPS ME RE- I've been spending too much time with midori." _I'm going insane_ thought shinsetsu _I've really lost it now_. "well, I'm just teaching some shinigami who happened to wander in here a lesson," she explained. "well can't you teach him a lesson without destroying seireitei?"

And so it went, ichigo taught the man a lesson, Midori was a confusing woman, and shinsetsu went insane.  
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(((Author's note))) you may have noticed that I used the name ichigo in my story. Ichigo is a woman, however I am NOT speaking about ichigo Kurosaki. Sorry there were no fun characters in this one, it was a large percentage of midori and shinsetsu and ichigo, I promise I'll add more real bleach characters in the next one, and for all that's worth all of the ones after this one! Internet cookies to my readers!!!!


	3. captain gramps and the incredib

Midori and Shinsetsu Present Messing with Soul Society

_Midori: All events are told in real time. This week, on 27-_

_Shinsetsu: one, this isn't 24, and two, why did you say 27?_

_Dori: that's how many hours in a day there are, right?_

_Shin-en: no. an apology to all of you intelligent people out there, Midori is a dumbass. _

_Dori: am not. Anyways I am your superior so apologize to me. _

_Shin-en: sorry midori-taichou. _

_Dori: I forgive you dear fukutaichou. _

_Shin-en: well, let's just get on to the show. _

________________________________________________________________

"Hey, taichou, what're we gonna do today?" pondered Shinsetsu out loud. "I don't know… I have all this paperwork I gotta do…" was Midori's reply. "So you're gonna do paperwork all day?" shinsetsu was taken aback, as usually her taichou's goal in life was to avoid work at all. "Naw. There's a simpler way to do paperwork." _Of course_, Shinsetsu thought. "And how is that?" she said, doubting her captain's powers. "Why, we kidnap Byakuya and Renji and force them to do the paperwork at zampakuto point."

Byakuya knew something was up. He didn't know what, but he could sense it. "Renji, do you feel alright today?" byakuya asked his fukutaichou. Surprised, renji dropped his chili-dog into his lap. Usually his captain ignored his presence or criticized his background. "No… I think you're losing it or something." Renji should have known better, but unfortunately he was a moron. Byakuya reached for senbonzakura. "scat-" he began. "Follow me. Your lives depend on it. You too, chili crotch." a voice came from behind them. A figure dressed ridiculously similar to what the Japanese called a ninja appeared. Then another more practically dressed one in a simple set of black sweats and ski mask appeared.

He woke up lying next to his still unconscious fukutaichou. _Where the hell am I?_ He wondered. Then he recognized her office. He was in the office of the head of the shunko corps. _Good,_ he thought. _Midori and Shinsetsu saved me from those two crazy women._ The two crazy women returned to the room.

"I am not a crazy woman and I brought you here to do my paperwork! Now get started!" Midori had a good future in fortune telling. Byakuya and Renji spent 3 hours working on paperwork while Midori and Shinsetsu practiced the ancient Japanese art of karaoke in the next room.

________________________________________________________________

_(((((Authors Note))))) You may have noticed in my introduction that I shortened Shinsetsu's name to Shin-en. Shinsetsu means relaxed or peaceful, but Shin-en means buddy. Some of you may recognize me from my other story, Bleach in the Morning from my role as host Kitty-sama. Contrary to popular belief, I don't have writer's block and am not ending bleach in the morning, quite the opposite, my mind is so ripe with ideas for new stories I will be posting like crazy after the completed repairs to my damned computer. Love from Soul Society… Kitty-sama!!_


End file.
